bitchpuddinq:

why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body

(Source: dumbgay, via gnarly)

la-rinascente:

Instead of leaking celebrity photos we could leak pdf versions of college textbooks? Idk just an idea

(via fake-mermaid)

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

(via wickked-sickk)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check

(via gnarly)

buddhawassexy:

"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

(via fake-mermaid)

annieleonhardt:

boys who hate bright lipsticks because “itll get all over them” fail to realize it will come nowhere near them

(via gnarly)